The Bright-Eyed Sinner's Sanctum

There’s a gentleman that sits outside on my college campus with a stack of free bibles in a suitcase. Doesn’t hawk, doesn’t say much at all really; sometimes a particularly conservatively-dressed individual will get a “God bless you” and a warm hello. Free Bibles, the sign says, but he’s actually there for conversation. We’ll call him the Blue Priest.

We never talk about God directly. He’s well-spoken, well-educated, philosophical. I’m friendly, thoughtful, sincere. Neither of us would presume to pass judgment on the other. He puts on a play of being amenable to my worldview; I put on a play of being amenable to his. Like civilized people, we talk about good and evil, one god and many, faith and fear, dancing around the looming knowledge that to each other, the state of our souls are hopeless. That if ever there were a war, it would be my people versus his own.

What’s funny, I think, is that I enjoy these talks. Like chess-games that nobody is trying to win- if either of us broke the fragile truce, the destruction of our little camaraderie would ensue, and the Blue Priest and I would never again occupy the same small pool of sunlight. It is a friendship, of sorts- the sorcerer and the priest good-naturedly picking at each other’s beliefs. Today, I told him something that delighted him; he hears it rarely enough. “I don’t know,” I said. He laughed and applauded my honesty.

It is his privilege to ask the questions, you see- seniority. He asks, prodding me in the direction of his own answers, gently. I answer honestly, and he is never prepared. Our little game. I think he lives magic vicariously through me; and in return, ironically, he does what he came to do: strengthen my faith. Arguing- excuse me, discussing- with the Blue Priest is an excellent thinking tool, it turns out. He posits his philosophical question, and I give him the answer that my belief provides. Different from his, of course, and he tells me so and why. But both of us put aside the arrogance and irresponsibility of assuming we are right, and for a moment, I have a window into a happier world, where people like he and I are not enemies.